Yes another year is done and another one is just in its infancy. So what I hear you ask can we expect from the year 2010? Well for starters there’s the UK general election in May/June, but all that nonsense and political apathy will be washed away in the run-up to the year’s seminal event: The 2010 World Cup hosted in South Africa. The run-up itself will be long and arduous, with a huge amount of hype and tension, but the anticipation of sports-fans everywhere is nothing compared to the drooling sweaty impatience of a globe full of gaming geeks, Trekkies, Star Wars nerds and general sci-fi heads eagerly awaiting the release of this year’s hottest MMORPG prospects. Yeah you heard me! Right now thousands of sweaty anxious geeks are sat in front of their computer screens, reading every last bit of information, watching every last you tube video, and spamming the hell out guild forums waiting for the launch of these three titles: Star Trek Online, Jumpgate Evolution and Star Wars – The Old Republic.
The majority of MMORPG’rs (well those who agree with me) are tired of running around bashing elves, telling kids in group channels to STFU and grinding their days out for ever expanding nonsense. Of course there are some people out there, who actually enjoy doing this, but the majority of them are either epeens, kids, unemployed bums, Chinese or grind masochists. Some would simply disagree with me because the world of MMORPG is full of trolls, contrarians, know-alls and those who like to shout out loud that “YOU ARE DOING IT ALL WRONG” or “WTF DON’T YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN GET THE ORB OF MYSTICAL OBNOXIOUSNESS FROM THE GUARDIAN OF TWATS IN IRONFORGE!!111.” The majority of real MMORPG’rs are chomping at the bit, waiting for the next wave of MMO’s to get underway.
But fear not for that time is nearly at hand! As i mentioned this year is the year of the space MMO, it’s time to put away you childish Axe of mystical cunning +twelfty to pedantry and start looking towards building big f*ck off ships with f*cking laser beams, ion cannons, jump drives and motherf*cking deflector grids. Seriously is there anything you can’t do with a deflector grid? If humanity could create one surely 99.9% of our problems would be solved. Yeah that’s right f*ck your tier-9 High poo-bah epix whoring druid and your 23 flying mounts, it’s time to get serious, get into space and blow some serious shit up.
So let us skip forward to Feb 2010 and enter Star Trek Online…
This post went on and on so you’ll have to wait for the next part, go level your twink or whatever…
Eat satire Fanboys!
[...] Continuation from last week’s 2010 Year of the Space MMO [...]