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Once upon a time there was a big party down on a beach somewhere in the dark reaches of the West Country. The bonfire roared all night long and a large amount of alcoholic beverages was distributed to all. Sometime in the early morn as the embers died and the unstoppable tide came crashing in, we spotted from a distance the fabled lesser known spotted Sea-badger. We were stunned. A huge shout went up around the remains of the camp. “F*ck me, it’s a Sea-badger!” One very drunken reveller shouted. We went berserk! A badger? In the sea? Surely not we cried! The camp broke quickly, and the rush was on to be the first people from Devon to have ever seen the mystical lesser known spotted sea badger. As we rushed along the rugged sea coast, the badger ran and splashed through the breakers like a leaping salmon. As we closed in, the sea badger noticed us, took stock, retrieved its’ stick and came sauntering over to meet us. It was at this point that we realised that the lesser known spotted sea badger was in-fact a Dalmatian, and not a badger.
The whole concept of the sea-badger, and its equally mysterious and elusive cousin the tree-badger, was born on that drunken day down by the coast. Like most animals the sea, tree and Saharan sand-badger evolved over a long period of time from the rather humble origins of the common badger/dog. Sea/tree/sand badgers can often be observed frolicking in the distance, only to disappear or metamorphosis into some form of mutt at a closer range; hence why their existence has so far been difficult to establish. Their almost chameleon-like ability to shape-shift is perhaps the biggest mystery ever known to man. Some scientists have even postulated upon the existence of a moon-badger. Unfortunately, Neil Armstrong and the following Apollo missions were unable to discover any trace of the animal. Physicists have argued thou that this is due to the moon-badgers nocturnal lifestyle, and evidence suggests that they are more likely to live on the dark side of the moon.
Nowadays the sea-badger and all its’ earthly cousins are under attack from the giant anthropogenic hammer of climate change. Their habitats have been destroyed or polluted. Now their very existence is under threat from the human wielding hockey stick of global temperature rise. So it’s up to us – yep that’s right it’s time to save all the badgers, wherever they live!
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