OMFG Christmas is a coming…

Only 3 months to go and it’s truly sad to say, but it’s time to start thinking about the biggest capitalist event on the commercial calendar, yep you got – Santa is coming to town. Every year it seems to get bigger and starts earlier, but with the economy in dire straits, forward planning is definitely needed this year. So it’s time to start collecting all those pennies because when it comes to the big day you know you’re going to have to raid that savings account, otherwise lil’ Tommy will ball his eyes out mercilessly all through the holiday season because you didn’t get him the latest new fangled iPod touch. So what to do? Well apart from robbing a bank or becoming a banker (and then bringing down the system from the inside, whilst taking a massive payoff for pure incompetence) the only thing you can do is save, save, save, and then save a bit more. That or you can give all your family macaroni pictures for Christmas. If you can’t do that (because macaroni and pritt-stick is way out of your budget) then like me you’re pretty screwed, so to make you all feel worse (because that’s the kind of guy I am) I’ve written a wish list of all the most expensive presents you won’t be getting for Jesus’ birthday.

Next Gen Consoles

Yeahh, Woooo Baby Yeah!! There’s nothing like going round to a mate’s house and watching him play on all the next-gen consoles while you’re still stuck in the Sonic era banging around with a Sega Mega-Drive. So if you happen to have a few hundred quid spare, and your children happen to be extremely shrill and vocal, then you may want to think about either, locking them in cupboard, or buying them an Xbox 360 or a PS3 to cut out the noise. If you do go down this route make sure you pick up Assassin’s creed 2 or Modern Warfare 2 because they are both going to be DA BOMB.

Apple Love

For all Mac Fanboyz and Steve Jobs lovers out there you can’t possibly get through Christmas without some sort of Apple product. Of course it all depends on the size of your wallet, if you happen to have exceedingly large pockets this winter, possibly due to your huge banking bonuses, then you may want to think about shelling out for Mac Book Pro, it’s the shizzle when it comes to personal computers, unless you happen to enjoy playing games because then it’s absolutely pants. No techno junkie has any sort of street-cred nowadays without an iPhone or an iPod Touch, but I’d wait until Orange unveils their new tariff deal before picking up an iPhone. Also Apple products might explode which serves you right if you buy one and it ruins Christmas dinner.

Christmas Hampers

It always a nice touch for the oldies and nowadays you can buy some epic hampers containing whole lobsters, a few bottles of vintage 1812 Cristal champagne, Dodo eggs and Blue Whale steaks. I may exaggerate a little, but you get my drift. Your average posh hamper nowadays contains an assortment of fine cheeses, pickles, posh crackers, pate and often a nice bottle of plonk.

Or like me you can just get everyone on your list a £5 voucher for W.H.Smiths and have done with it. Christmas is all about getting pissed anyway…

Merry Xmas Santa! Can I have one?